Dear Matt...

It's getting harder and harder to go through each day with a smile.

Harder and harder to not let myself drown in my sorrow.

Each night, I put myself to sleep through my tears.

I just feel so alone without you.

I see pictures of you and my palm aches to touch your warm cheek.

Then my heart aches, knowing that will never happen.

Boo, I'm just so tired.

Part of me wants to sleep forever.

Just give up.

But I know I can't.

I know there are people who care for me and I can't make them suffer.

But...

I just want to be with you.

You were my world.

And now this world is empty without you.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I don't even know that I care.

Here in my room, alone, away from the world, I wallow, knowing that when I wake up, go to work, the wallowing and self-pity stops.

I don't think I'll ever be whole again.

You were the best man.

Patient.

Caring.

Loving.

Bright.

And so funny.

I can't believe you loved me.

I'm so sorry if I wasn't good enough.

Deserving enough.

But know that you have my heart.

Every broken little piece belongs to you.

Forever.

Me