Dear Matt...

People tell me that it gets easier as time goes by.

I'm still waiting.

Boo, I'm grateful that you don't have to suffer any longer.

And I would rather it be me left here alone than you.

But, boy, does this suck.

Lori asked me today if I had known all this would happen,

would I still have married you?

Hells, yeah!

But I would have been better.

No stupid fights.

No silly arguments.

No "we'll do this later"

I would have shown you how much I love you.

I would have been everything you wanted.

Done everything you wanted.

Oh, babe, I love you so much!

So, so, much!

I loved gazing upon your sleeping face.

So peaceful.

So sweet.

Honey, I feel so cheated!

I was robbed of the best thing that ever happened to me.

You made me be a better person.

I wanted to be a better person, for you.

I know Life is unfair.
I'm not stupid.

But this is just too much.

This hurts way too much.

I feel like a hollow doll,

going through days as if someone is manipulating me.

All smiles.

All rosy.

All empty.

A year ago, the future was uncertain, but bright.

Exciting.

Now, the future remains uncertain,

but I don't really care what it holds any longer.

It's not exciting at all.

It's a scary, and a bit dark.

I don't want this future.

I don't want any of it!

I just want you!

Just you!!

I need you Boo!

I need you so much.

Me