Dear Matt...

Life is a mess.

I get irritated so quickly.

Sometimes I just want to lie in bed all day.

Shut out the world and all it has to offer.

Cuz the one thing that I wanted from it, is gone.

Torn away.

And now I'm left with all these stupid feelings.

Feelings of inadequacy.

Of misdirection.

Of ineptitude.

And of betrayal.

I'm so sorry, Boo.

I feel like I did betray you.

And for what?

or Whom?

No one!

No one who is worth the agony.

No one who will be anything more.

I always put myself in this situation.
I always make an idiot of myself.

I did ask you for help.

You gave it to me.

You gave me a date.

A date to remember and recall how foolish I was.

How ridiculous I was.

A date I will always associate with him.

And now...with Him.

Never again.

I just wish I could disappear from my life now.

Go far away and live in absolute anonymity.

Forget everything and everyone.

And just be.

Just Be.

This life sucks.

A lot.

Me