Dear Matt...

I miss you. I got a Church calling on Sunday. I teach Primary, 5 year old.

Can you believe someone is trusting me with these malleable minds? :)
I trying to be good. I'm tyring to be strong. But it's so hard.

I smell the orange blossoms and I think of you.

It was your favorite smell.

Today, I had to lock up late by myself, and I missed you so much.

You took care of me, always.

You were always there when I needed you, no matter what.

Boo, I feel so bad that I wasn't around more for you in that last month.

If I had known, I would never have left your side.

Never.

I would have been nicer, I would have told you everyday how happy you had made me.

I would have been more patient.

You deserved so much better than me.

I know you did.

You know you did.

I'm so sorry, Boo. I'm so sorry for being me.

I should have been better. I should have tried harder.

But you never showed me you were sorry you married me.

I was so lucky to have you.

I know that I will never find another like you.

There is no one who I can love that will love me as much and as unconditionally as you did.

Boo, I need your help. I need your strength.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I had that dream a while ago and now I'm so confused about what I feel, if I really feel like that. Or was it caused by the dream?

I feel like I cheated.

I just don't know.

But I do know that it just wouldn't work, right?

We're too different.

I don't know, Boo, but I need help.

I need some guidance, and who better than the smartest man I know, right?

I love you.
Me