2.22.2009

Dear Matt...

Tonight was Oscar Night. It was great, Boo. You would have loved it.
Hugh Jackman did a fabulous job as host.
The opening number was charming.
I was so happy. Slumdog Millionaire won!!
They pretty much swept the night.
Sean Penn got Best Actor, while Kate Winslet was awarded Best Actress.
She beat out Meryl!
Peggy was very upset with her win since she did NOT like The Reader.
Of course Heath won Best Supporting Actor.
His family accepted the award on his and his daughter's behalf.
Their speech was lovely, an appropriate tribute.
Penelope Cruz won Best Supporting Actress.
They did this really cool thing where they had 5 past winners from the
4 acting categories announce each of this years nominees.
It made for some great moments.
Honey, I know you would have liked this year.
I'm sorry you're not here to share it with me.
Babe, I'm so jealous.
I'm jealous of old couples holding hands.
I'm jealous of couples with children.
I'm jealous of everybody.
Honey, I had you. Now, I have no one.
You always told me not to count my chickens before they hatched,
but I couldn't help myself.
I had our baby names picked out, I had nursery colors picked,
I had plans for everything.
Everything, except Cancer.
That, I did not expect.
I have to try so hard not to hate this world. Not to scream and rage at it.
I have to go each day without talking about how I feel in order to not feel it.
And I get through.
At night, when there is no one around, then, and only then,
can I feel what I'm afraid to while the sun is up.
Then can I tell Heavenly Father how unfair this all is.
Then can I tell you how my heart aches, how I wish I could hold you.
Oh Love... I feel empty without you.
I feel shattered.

Me



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